Too Little Too Late
I dont know where I stand right now. I am neither here nor there. Anyway, I broke up with my significant other last friday. Bukan I yang nak tapi I think both of us had enough with other. We are always quarelling and on each other's neck. We had a fight in Marks n Spencer...(out of all places kan?) very high drama. The climax of it when she said "YOU KNOW WHY I KEEP UP WITH YOU ALL THIS TIME? SEBAB I DONT HAVE A CHOICE..NOW I HAVE A CHOICE..AND I WANT TO GO AWAY FROM YOU" it hurts alot when someone you love with all your heart says that straight to your face kan? It clearly shows that she is not happy all this while and what can you do. I said.."IF YOU HAVE A CHOICE NOW..THEN GO".
Then suddenly on Monday night..she sms me wanting her things that she left in my car. She was all mad and fuming with anger..hence the text msg are all burning with her anger. I really dont want to settle our issue when one of us is feeling like that because, it will and it is proven that it will complicate things. Honestly speaking, I have no more feelings towards her, I lost her love and trust when I found out she have been sneaking around behind my back. I really cant take it. I am not confused. Yes I know I did contribute to this break up also, due to my short fuse and insecurerities but did she try to understand why am I feeling that way? Why am I feeling I will lose her eventually? Why am I feeling tired of arguing, screaming, swearing, crying, and moody? Did she know that everytime I saw her texting, talking on the phone and MMS-ing that guy I cringe inside? Dis she know that I feel like I cant do all this anymore? Yes I cant lie, I still do love her but we are two different person now, we dont row in the same boat, she is going right and I am going left. I need to be fair to my self. I had enough of when she love me I will be her king, her world and what not, but when things went crazy I'll receive emotional black mail sms, namescalling like pukimak, celaka, bodoh, sial and all? I dont need her "kau memang banyak menyusahkan aku selama ni" remarks..because I have never ask her anything..
I dont know where am I right now, I neither here nor there...all I know is I just want to be alone..and I need to LOVE myself...I am so sorry
Then suddenly on Monday night..she sms me wanting her things that she left in my car. She was all mad and fuming with anger..hence the text msg are all burning with her anger. I really dont want to settle our issue when one of us is feeling like that because, it will and it is proven that it will complicate things. Honestly speaking, I have no more feelings towards her, I lost her love and trust when I found out she have been sneaking around behind my back. I really cant take it. I am not confused. Yes I know I did contribute to this break up also, due to my short fuse and insecurerities but did she try to understand why am I feeling that way? Why am I feeling I will lose her eventually? Why am I feeling tired of arguing, screaming, swearing, crying, and moody? Did she know that everytime I saw her texting, talking on the phone and MMS-ing that guy I cringe inside? Dis she know that I feel like I cant do all this anymore? Yes I cant lie, I still do love her but we are two different person now, we dont row in the same boat, she is going right and I am going left. I need to be fair to my self. I had enough of when she love me I will be her king, her world and what not, but when things went crazy I'll receive emotional black mail sms, namescalling like pukimak, celaka, bodoh, sial and all? I dont need her "kau memang banyak menyusahkan aku selama ni" remarks..because I have never ask her anything..
I dont know where am I right now, I neither here nor there...all I know is I just want to be alone..and I need to LOVE myself...I am so sorry
posted by Amir at Tuesday, April 29, 2008
1 Comments:
Good for you. Life must go on. A person like you deserve a better person. Well...there are a lot of perempuan baik out there for you. No need to mourn. Life is really beautiful if u really look at it. And u know kadang-kadang setiap kejadian tu ada hikmahnya. Mana tau because of this u will meet someone really special out there...be patient ye dik and pray to God. Btw be a good Muslim and God will always be with you..Good luck...
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